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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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| "i've been thinking a lot lately about missed appointments. i
regret to admit that YOU have played a very distant role in my life as
of late. it breaks me to think that while preach of YOU as the
essential, i have failed to make YOU essential in my life.
recently i ran into a friend that seems to radiate YOUR presence.
seeing him made my lack of commitment to YOU cry out. why can't i
love YOU like he does? he just seems to get it, get YOU.
make me more like him. make me a man that sees things with
kingdom eyes, not my tainted eyes. my eyes are selfish, always
looking out for the good of me. often failing to see others,
failing to see YOU. will i always be this way? will i
always be so blind? pleasure has become my god. i have no
self-control. i have no will. i have become it's
servant. bring me back to YOU."
i recently found an old notebook with this letter to GOD inside.
i do not remember when i wrote these words, or what spurred this
somewhat random entry, but i could re-write them today and they would
still be valid. at times i feel that my life is wrapped up in
me. i pretend that i am others focus, or that i care...but do i
really? today i have made a resolution. today...my will
becomes YOUR will. my eyes become YOUR eyes. my words
become YOUR words. please help!!!
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| on the breadline...it seems as though GOD chooses serendipity as HIS
main line of communication. this unfortunate exchange of ideas is
exhausting. i find myself searching for what GOD has deemed
hidden, until my frustration takes hold and i find myself no longer
moving. it is in the stillness that HE, in HIS great dark comedic
way, reveals to me the simplicity of life. it is a great
irony. the more i seek out the higher levels of GOD, the more HE
reminds me of my lack of understanding of the basics. what i have
realized is that no matter how advanced i feel my faith has become...i
will always be on the breadline. my impoverished spirit will
always be in need of the next piece of bread. the life that GOD
intended me to live is found in the bread. JESUS said, "I am the
BREAD of LIFE; whoever comes to ME shall not hunger." this seems
too simple. HE echoes, "come to ME all who are weak and heavy
laden, and I will give you rest." beautiful. but the fact
is...i don't really like it. at least, i don't act as if i like
it. i may try to convince myself that i like it. but in
reality i find myself all too often sneaking around at 2:00am with the
lights out feasting on some spiritual "phish food". i find
instant energy in it's sugars. it is oh so satisfying. but
it never last long and it brings the guilt which saturates every last
bit of life that was there, and i once again find myself on the
breadline where i belong. this blog is for those that find
themselves on the breadline. impoverished and broken, yearning for
the warmth of the BREAD of LIFE.
welcome. this is new...to me...to you. i pray it is mutually
worthwhile. oliver wendell holmes once said, "most people die with
their music still inside them." this is my attempt to sing.
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